There is something clarifying in returning to a place you have already been before. You are able to see the place as it really is, no longer overwhelmed by the sights you were previously seeing for the first time. The same is true of people — we often find the second or third time we get together with someone is when you get to know that person in a more real way. Instead of the brief, one-dimensional image you form after the first meeting, the person is rounded out. You get to know their characteristics, their personality, and, ideally, their present reality instead of just stories from their past.
We caught a fast train to Kochi after spending two weeks in Trivandrum. In many ways we could have stayed in Trivandrum longer, having just started to establish relationships. But with Alex’s parents flying into Kochi soon for a visit, we decided we wanted to be in Kochi for a life group meeting and young adults meeting, as well as the Sunday service.
The train ride was much more pleasant than the jerky drives we had experienced travelling from Kochi to Alleppey and Alleppey to Varkala. We had an air-conditioned compartment to ourselves where we could sit and read our books, at times looking up to watch the beautiful Keralan countryside whip past as we travelled 200 kilometres in 3.5 hours. Emma tends to get motion sickness when travelling by car (and bus and plane and boat), so hopefully we can travel by train more often in the future!
Upon returning to Kochi we have been more intentional about pursuing times of fellowship, seeking to ‘build up’ people as per the words of Phil Wagner which we quoted in our last entry. We know that God loves relationship, as He is relational within the Trinity. This is also the purpose for which humanity was created — to have relationship with our Creator. But it can be easy to settle for relationships with other believers which are surface-level or safe. In coming back to Kochi, we were mindful that we wanted to push deeper into fellowship with people, as our time in Kerala is fleeting (due to visa restrictions).
In particular, we have enjoyed moving beyond the ‘getting to know you’ conversations which are inevitable at the beginning of any relationship. In his book ‘Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God’, Tim Keller writes:
Many or perhaps most of our conversations are relatively superficial. Persons can exchange information without much self-disclosure. Some conversations, however, go deep and we sense that both of us are revealing not just information but our very selves. The conversation then becomes a personal encounter, a true connection. (emphasis added)
To reveal ourselves and to have personal encounters with people here in Kochi is our desire, and we want to be vulnerable in our times of fellowship, sharing the challenges we have faced here and how God has been beckoning us into a deeper faith life. We want to do this without expecting anything in return, and then enjoying what does come back from each person. A number of people in Kochi have been very open about their experiences of depression, relationship issues, difficulties with their families and struggles to discern the next step in their walks with God. It has been good for us to focus on what the Holy Spirit is prompting us to say or express, instead of simply relaying our own experiences or opinions which come from a different cultural context and may be specific to our lives or personalities. There is a real rest in knowing that we can rely on the Spirit for discernment and can be bold in expressing God’s love or direction to those He has brought across our path. We love pointing people to God, His perfect love, and the importance of total dependence on Him.
Since they have arrived, we’ve also loved involving Alex’s parents in our life and relationships here in Kochi, especially in our times of fellowship with others. It’s been a pleasure to draw individuals and families into the richness and depth of relationship which we share. We were able to get away with them to Munnar, a hill station surrounded by tea plantations near the border between Kerala and Tamil Nadu. It was a welcome relief to be in a cooler climate and to enjoy trekking through the tea plantations. We came back from this time feeling refreshed and spurred on by Alex’s parents’ encouragement for us to continue to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and obedient to God.
