Since our last entry a few weeks ago, it has felt a bit like we are on a rollercoaster: hitting some incredible highs then plunging down steep drops, flipping in unexpected directions then careening towards areas where the track doesn’t look like it’s been finished yet. We couldn’t wait to get off the rollercoaster and back on solid ground, but we’ve come to realise that maybe we never will. After all, if this is an adventure in faith, why would we expect to feel secure and in control at some point? We have been reminded that despite the loops and drops, God is in control and we put our trust in Him.
So where did the roallercoaster start?
We had a 30-day visa for the Philippines and our only subsequent plan was to visit Singapore for a fortnight to meet up with Emma’s dad and his partner. But we didn’t have any real clarity beyond mid-August. We were tossing up between heading back to India for a few more weeks to max out our visa for the year, or staying in Singapore for longer.
Since the beginning of last year we’d had a sense of God drawing us to Singapore, because of its nature as a hub for South Asia and its similar legal system (which is helpful for us finding a job), but also because Singapore kept being mentioned to us as a place to live by various people in seemingly coincidental ways. What really made it stand out is discovering a working holiday visa for Australians under 30 (which we just qualify for).
We had been discussing whether we would apply for this visa when a recruiter contacted Alex about a 10-month contract in Singapore, to start in mid-August. The recruiter suggested we get onto applying for the WH visa, which made us wonder if God wanted us to pursue Singapore, so we decided to apply. And this was the point that the rollercoaster really took off!
The sequence of events went something like this:
We submit our applications for the WH visas.
Alex starts the interview process for the 10-month contract.
Our WH visa applications get rejected, with no reason given, leaving us very confused.
After calling the Singapore immigration department and finding out we misunderstood a question, we re-submit our WH visa applications.
Alex finishes three interviews for the 10-month contract and is offered the role, to start on 19 August. We are aware of God’s hand in all of this, as Alex is under-qualified for the role which covers all of APAC.
The recruitment company applies for him to get a standard employment visa so Alex withdraws his WH visa application.
We are told by the recruitment company in Singapore that the employment visa is usually for 3 years and can include dependents.
We fly to Singapore on 12 August and start looking at rentals. Most places want a 2-year lease.
Alex’s employment visa is approved, but only for 12 months, not 3 years.
Alex is told by the recruiter that the role can’t start on 19 August and the delay might be for up to 4 weeks so everything is up in the air.
We are told to secure a rental as soon as possible because Alex’s 12-month visa has already started.
Emma’s WH visa still hasn’t been approved and Alex has no start date for the role.
We find a rental and decide to put in an offer and deposit, despite the uncertainty.
As you can imagine, our emotions were pinging all over the place during this sequence of events, and our feelings were often exacerbated by our desire to see further ahead and to achieve what we thought were the best outcomes. Instead of focusing solely on what we needed to decide each day, we constructed little futures based on what we knew at that time — and then we were disappointed when those futures no longer seemed likely to happen.
But just ‘learning to live in the moment’ isn’t the sum of what we’ve discovered in all of this, because there’s a reality to the rollercoaster of the last few weeks. Things which seemed certain have become less so, we’ve made decisions which are more risky, and there will be financial consequences if things don’t go the way we hope they will. It would be false to say we aren’t experiencing the highs and lows, or that we don’t feel tossed around by the unexpected changes in direction.
Alex’s grandfather had been reading a book about George Müller’s life and ministry and sent us some quotes which had stood out to him. In particular, he pointed to how Müller proclaimed that we are meant to “live a life of trust”, which goes beyond having faith that God will get us through a particular situation. Trust is a state of being — implicit and restful. It’s also only possible if we know our God is trustworthy. This was helpful guidance for us; as if we do really trust God with everything, then we can make decisions with confidence and not begrudge the uncertainty, even while acknowledging that it makes us feel uncomfortable.
Riding a rollercoaster without knowing where it’s taking you is definitely disconcerting, but if we trust that God has not only laid the tracks ahead but is also sitting beside us as we go through each twist and turn, then we can enjoy a kind of restfulness in the midst of it.
