In Nepal we have come face to face with people living in quite extreme poverty, especially in the more remote mountain regions which are difficult to access. People living in these regions can be easily cut off from towns due to bad weather and have to walk for days to access a market. Drinking water can also be scarce, even in monsoon when you would think water would be plentiful, because the water is often polluted and unsafe to drink.
Across Nepal we have also heard many stories of children who are orphans or who have been abandoned by one or both parents. There are also many children whose families are so poor they cannot afford to take care of them or educate them. This has been confronting for both of us, but it has particularly affected me. While I have always known I have had a privileged life, it is another thing to experience the reality of it. During our time in Nepal, I realised that my thoughts were often consumed by money. When people were generously hosting us I would tally the likely costs of the food, water, and electricity (if they had any) that we were consuming, and feel that we ought to compensate people for being a burden to them. It was good to trust the pastor we were travelling with who often advised us against giving money to our hosts, and instead focused on what we were giving on a spiritual level. However, on some occasions he was happy for us to give money, and at those times he encouraged us to give abundantly. This felt confusing to me because it was not logical nor did it seem to be based on the person’s needs, but we wanted to honour what the pastor thought was best.
Over time and after many conversations with Alex, I realised that I was coming from a place of sympathy instead of Godly love, wanting to do the ‘right’ thing and most importantly not wanting to be seen to be uncaring, ungenerous, or unaware. By wanting to ‘compensate’ people I was reducing our fellowship to a transaction — a fee for service. But the only reason we were staying, eating, and spending time with these people was because of our shared love of God. We went to Nepal wanting to build up the body of Christ in whatever way we could and it was a privilege to spend time with our fellow believers.
Any financial giving or tithing should also be motivated by the same thing — a love of God and a desire to build up His body — not measured by my own standards which are so often fickle and fleeting. God is love and His ways are perfect and it's arrogant to think I can judge what is best or what others need.
I was reminded of a My Utmost For His Highest (October 26) which I'd read before we left Melbourne which so eloquently articulates what I have realised during our time in Nepal:
The great danger is in getting so wrapped up in people’s needs that our sympathy drowns out God’s call and overwhelms the meaning of being sent by Jesus. Humanity’s needs are so enormous, and the conditions of human life so perplexing, that every power of mind falters and fails when confronted with them. It’s easy to forget that the great reason for the missionary enterprise isn’t educating people or meeting their needs but first and foremost obeying the command of Jesus Christ. “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19).
Seeing the difference between human sympathy and Godly giving allowed me to relax and genuinely enjoy our times of fellowship in Nepal. It also meant that when Alex and I felt to give financial or other gifts to people, it could be an expression of God’s love to them through us, rather than an expression of my sympathy for their situation. It also freed us up to be generous in the way Jesus spoke about in Matthew 10:8, as we weren't trying to meet a particular need but just wanted to freely give.